Brandon at Random Reviews

There are a lot of indie-ish movies like this out there that feel like maybe they aren’t as low budget as they appear on the surface. The low-budgetness, the mildly known cast, but like a confusingly great soundtrack full of familiar hits…that shit costs money, man.

Ryan Reynolds seems like he’s been above a movie like this since just after his “2 Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place” days, but before “Van Wilder” for sure. Certainly not 2009 Reynolds. But that suits his character in this flick. He’s not really one of the kids working the park for the summer like Jesse Eisenberg or Kristen Stewart or Bill from Freaks and Geeks, he’s just the older park mechanic guy who cheats on his wife with Bella who is also kind of acting like she’s into Zuckerberg unfairly. But I digress.

The plot of this movie. I just don’t care. Like Eisenberg is a post-high school virgin who crushes on the first girl he meets. Seems like that’d be relatable enough but you can’t hitch your whole wagon to that with a bunch of stupid other plots that I have no interest in. Oh no, Ryan Reynolds’ character is a bag of shit. Oh shit there’s a will they/won’t they with Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg because they keep doing stupid shit. I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. Do I want Jesse to get laid? How about he learns there’s more to life than doing sex all the time and he just learns how to enjoy the little things in life? Haaa, just kidding, that’d be terrible, sex literally makes the entire world go ‘round. I don’t think there would be a way to fix this flick by conventional means.

These kinds of “indie” flicks are just hit and miss. This one somehow got a bunch of decent stars to sign on, which is unfortunate since they really couldn’t elevate it to a better level as they were very limited by the script. What did I watch this for? Did I miss an entire act of the plot? This was so disappointing. I guess I can’t only review ones I love.

It’s on HBO Max. You might like it. Even love it. But I deeply, and sincerely doubt it. I actually hope I’m just wrong about this one and have just watched too many movies. But honesty is key. Let the big dog eat. But seriously, don’t. I beg this of you. Enjoy!

“I woke up at three AM with the radio on, that Gladys Knight and the Pips song on about how she’d rather live in his world with him, than live in her own world alone, and I lay there, head spinning, trying to fall asleep and I thought to myself ‘Oh, Gladys, girl, I love you but, oh, GET A LIFE!’”